


Crab Nuggets

by Vampyra142001



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Aliens, Angst, Gen, Hint: What's the name of the zodiac crab?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 06:40:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21193253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vampyra142001/pseuds/Vampyra142001
Summary: Metro Man collapses during a battle, leaving Megamind to figure out what’s going on.





	Crab Nuggets

Crab Nuggets

By Kelli Dalton

It had started out like any other day: with a battle. Sure, the hero had shown up about a second after his cue. And, sure, the guy looked a little pale. But all of that could easily be explained by simple and common factors. An off day, a bad piece of fish, something. So he has to be given some leeway on not factoring Metro Man falling unconscious into his battle plans.

Well, okay, post-battle plans. The giant mechsuit Minion had been piloting had already been smashed beyond use and Roxanne Ritchi had been retrieved from the suit’s clutches, leaving Megamind hovering on the jetbike to distract Metro Man while the fish retreated.

He had been stunned into inaction when the hero had trailed off mid-banter and dropped out of the sky. Thankfully, the brainbots didn’t have such qualms and instantly rushed in to catch Miss Ritchi, as she had been in Metro Man’s arms at the time. The brainbots did, however, seem to run into a slight issue where their programming was telling them to save someone in danger and to leave the ‘enemy’ alone at the same time. Only a couple of them opted to follow the first part of their programming. They weren’t enough to compensate for Metro Man’s dense weight.

The fall hadn’t hurt the unconscious hero at all, which was good, but it left Megamind all the more confused. What could knock out a glaupunk without affecting their invulnerability?

On the ground, citizens were tentatively emerging from buildings, trying to figure out if the fight was over. The news crews’ cameras had all moved to focus on their respective reporters as the speculations began to fly. An ambulance was screeching towards the scene and Roxanne, having 'escaped’ from the brainbots, was on the phone, presumably working to contain what would be a PR nightmare. Clearly, everything was under control… And yet Megamind couldn’t bring himself to leave. This was not how things were supposed to go. His childhood rival was not supposed to be out cold on the ground until he put the guy there.

Shouts and complains below drew Megamind out of his agitated thoughts. The paramedics couldn’t get Metro Man onto the stretcher. Growling in frustration, he revved the jetbike and then dove at the pair, driving them and the crowd back from the downed hero and giving himself a place to park.

“He’s too heavy for you, your stretcher, and your weak gurney. I’ll take him to the hospital,” said Megamind, making it clear that he wasn’t hearing any arguments. It felt disgusting to say that, to reference Metro Man and the hospital in the same context.

As he bent to lift the other alien, the paramedics made as if to stop him. A glowing Degun pointed at them made them reconsider.

“But his spine-” started the younger of the pair.

“He fell twenty stories and doesn’t have a hair out of place. He’s fine.” ‘Fine’ is a generous word for the situation considering that Megamind and fair amount of the city just watched Metro Man plummet from the sky and make a small crater in the street, but he isn’t wrong about the hero’s back. Probably.

Knowing the approximate weight of your opponent and dead lifting that weight were two very different things, but Megamind managed to drape Metro Man over his jetbike with minimal use of eloquent complaints. At one point in his struggle, he had considered making the brainbots help, but it didn’t seem quite right. He could handle this all on his own.

* * *

Some time later found them in a hospital room, Metro Man still unconscious and Megamind scrawling scientific figures all over a dry erase board that was stolen out of the hospital’s breakroom. He had given Minion the gist of the situation on the way and had to hang up on the fish before his motives could be questioned too much.

When the hero started to wake up, he barely hesitated in what he was doing and continued to draw out a chemical equation, pointedly ignoring the other man stirring awake. He could feel Metro Man’s eyes on his back as the silence stretched out, the hero no doubt trying to figure out what he was doing there. And, to be honest, Megamind wasn’t really sure either. Well, he knew why he was there, but not why police or security hadn’t attempted to haul him off. Even the nurses had barely said anything to him when they had come in to check the monitors, just nervous questions about whether or not their patient had woken up.

Someone had to have arranged this freedom and it certainly wasn’t the man on the bed. Maybe Roxanne or Minion had gotten a hold of someone high up? It was strange to be left alone and… trusted to some degree.

Finishing a diagram of a radioactive isotope, he finally snapped the marker’s cap on and turned to face his rival. Up until this point, he had avoided doing so, not wanting to see the hero so weak in a hospital bed. This was not how things were supposed to go.

“Hey,” greeted Metro Man with a watered down version of that canned smile.

In an instant, Megamind had crossed the room and slapped Metro Man across the face. It hurt, but it was still worth it. All the other alien could do was stare at him in shock, the guy’s cheek not even turning red from the blow.

“You knew! You’ve known for months and were still out there flying around being the hero!” he shouted, waving his arms around. “You should–”

“Have taken time off for my health?” interrupted a mildly irritated Metro Man, who clearly was not surprised that Megamind had so quickly learned something hidden in confidential medical records. “What good would that do? They can’t do surgery. They can’t do chemotherapy. Between my invulnerability and my alien biology they can’t even do proper testing.”

Megamind drops his arms and gapes at the other man. “So, what, you’re just going to keep doing the hero thing until you drop dead?”

“Possibly? The doctors said that the best we could hope for was for the cancer to attack whatever produces my invulnerability quickly so that they could actually accomplish something.”

So that was it? That was the master plan to save the city’s Defender: to hope that the cancer killed Metro Man at the right speed, in the right way so that there might be something left to salvage. Considering that the guy was already starting to collapse, that likely only left a matter of months of being able to keep up with heroing. And, all the while, the chances of some lesser villain taking out Metro Man would grow.

Even if things went as the doctors hoped, the other alien might never be able to get back into the Game. And, even if Metro Man recovered well enough to return to the Game, things would never be the same. With no invulnerability, the main challenge in defeating Metro Man would be gone. Where was the fun if even a lucky punk with a gun could take out your life long rival?

Either he could watch the man he had known since infancy fade or… Megamind turned back to his sprawling equations. What other option was there, really?

When he turned around again, Megamind had his Degun in hand, pointed square at the hero’s chest.

“Being that you are in no condition to fight, you are coming with me, Metro Mahn.”

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure if I’m going to continue this or not. There is indeed more to the story, but it’s currently vague as hell and this seemed like a good stopping point for now. There may be future chapters, there might not. It’s hard telling.
> 
> Leave a comment if you got the title's double meaning.
> 
> For the original post: https://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1962763.html


End file.
